Caring for a newborn is an exhausting, round-the-clock responsibility, especially in the early months when babies need constant feeding, diaper changes, and soothing. New mothers often feel overwhelmed by the demands, particularly if it’s their first child and they’re still adjusting to the intense schedule. This period can feel even more daunting without a strong support system.
In this situation, OP had hoped to lean on her stay-at-home mother for help once her maternity leave ended, seeing it as a natural way to share the burden of childcare. However, when OP’s mom declined to provide free childcare and instead offered her services for $20 per hour, plus additional expenses, it sparked a confrontation. OP faced a tough financial dilemma, caught between needing support and grappling with her mother’s refusal to help without compensation.
This clash brings up important questions about family obligations, boundaries, and the financial realities of childcare. What do you think—was OP’s mom justified in her stance, or should she have helped without charging? Share your thoughts below!
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Source: Reddit
1. Is it wrong for OP to feel frustrated if her mom declines to assist with childcare while she returns to work?
2. OP sought her 64-year-old stay-at-home mom’s help with her newborn, aiming to return to work after her maternity leave.
3. Declining, the mother cited her age and past parenting duties, suggesting OP reconsider staying home like she did, while the partner provided, akin to a “traditional” family setup.
4. Amidst a pandemic and looming recession, the couple faces financial strain with one income insufficient due to the couple’s various debts.
5. As the primary earner, OP feels compelled to return to work, given their financial stake and contribution to the family’s finances.
6. Upon sharing their circumstances, the mother proposed charging $20/hr for childcare, including late fees. She requested OP to provide additional baby essentials too.
7. Due to personal reasons, the mother refuses to enter the OP’s house, despite having only visited once in the five years.
8. Seeking to reduce debt, OP aims to minimize expenses associated with childcare and avoid over-investment in duplicates, foreseeing potential financial strain.
9. Considering options, OP contemplates enrolling her baby in infant daycare for cost efficiency and proximity.
10. Questioning her request, OP wonders if she is wrong for expecting her stay-at-home mom to provide free childcare as they and their partner tackle financial challenges.
Comments on this Story:
11. It’s irresponsible to have a child if financial stability isn’t assured, and suggests discussing post-pregnancy plans with family beforehand to avoid conflicts.
12. A Redditor criticizes OP for expecting her mother to provide childcare without obligation, questioning her readiness for parenthood and lack of pre-planning.
13. Parenthood is a personal responsibility and not an obligation for others.
14. Another Redditor sides with the mother, emphasizing that the responsibility of raising the child lies with OP, not the grandmother.
15. Grandparents aren’t obliged to babysit, so OP should prefer hiring a nanny over expecting constant assistance from the grandmother.
16. The Redditor agrees with the mother, blaming OP for having a child they can’t afford and emphasizing that it’s not the mother’s duty to raise the child.
17. The Redditor questions OP’s decision to have a child without financial stability, and criticizes her for making childcare her mother’s burden.
18. “Your baby, your responsibility!!!”
19. OP should accept the mother’s refusal, as she already did her part by raising her own children.
20. Nobody owes OP free childcare, emphasizing that having a baby was her decision and responsibility to manage.
