Navigating boundaries with parents, particularly those absent during childhood, can be incredibly challenging. A lack of parental presence during formative years often complicates the parent-child relationship, making it harder to enforce boundaries later on. Interactions with such parents can also be emotionally draining, as their expectations and behavior may clash with those developed in the household.
A Reddit story illustrates this struggle through the experience of the OP, who dealt with an absent father marked by a strict and controlling nature. This sharply contrasted with the more nurturing environment her mother provided. The father’s tendency to assert authority without considering her privacy or preferences was evident, from eating her food without permission to criticizing her financial decisions. As she grew older, these behaviors continued, even extending into her own home. Despite her love for him, the OP struggles with his lack of respect for her autonomy and boundaries.
Source: Reddit
1. How do you manage a situation where a father asserts dominance by believing he’s entitled to control everything?
2. OP’s parents split up when she was less than a year old, and she didn’t begin regularly seeing her dad until she was about 12 years old.
3. Growing up, OP’s dad had a strong belief that being a father meant he was the ultimate authority figure, while OP saw her mom as the one in charge.
4. He’d visit OP’s mom’s house and attempt to discipline OP, even though it wasn’t his home, often criticizing how she maintained her room.
5. He attempted to confiscate OP’s Wii by unplugging it and placing it out of reach in a closet, claiming she disrespected him by asking him not to enter her room when she was not present.
6. As an adult, his behaviour persists; while living with him briefly, he consumed food OP bought, depleting her packed lunch and dinner without permission.
7. Despite OP’s pleas for him to refrain from consuming her food, he would lecture her about OP’s spending habits and assert his right to eat it, citing their familial relationship.
8. Even in OP’s home, her father helps himself to do whatever he pleases from her kitchen without seeking permission.
9. Amid the pandemic, despite OP’s insistence, he adamantly refused to wear a mask while entering her home. He continued to disregard the precautionary measure, entering maskless.
10. Despite the affection, navigating such challenging dynamics can be perplexing.
11. He lacks a key; “just walks into my house” is a term used by OP’s family to describe unwelcome visits where the person acts as if they belong there.
12. Refuse to open the door unless he respects your boundaries. Ensure he understands to call before visiting and wait for an invitation, establishing your home’s rules.
13. Install new locks, set up security cameras, and consider reducing contact!!!
14. Consider revoking his key or changing the locks for your house. You control your boundaries; don’t let him dictate them!
15. Why does your dad have entry to your house??
16. What specifically draws your affection towards him?
17. OP’s father reminded a Redditor of his father with whom he had severed ties.
18. Exclude him from your home. Everyone else is welcome, but he’s out. He’s acting like a child, so treat him like one.
19. Consider severing ties; he’s not worth your time. You have the power to choose who stays in your life.
20. If he lacks a key, simply lock the doors…..take control of your space and boundaries.
