Gift-giving can be tricky, especially when it involves personal items meant to boost someone’s confidence. It requires not just thoughtfulness but also sensitivity to how the recipient might interpret the gesture. In today’s story, OP learned this lesson the hard way after surprising his girlfriend with a gift of lingerie, hoping to boost her confidence.
Unfortunately, his good intentions backfired. Instead of feeling empowered, his girlfriend saw the gesture as self-serving, interpreting it as OP focusing on his fantasies rather than her feelings. This led to disappointment and distance in their relationship, leaving OP to question whether his choice was appropriate.
This scenario highlights the importance of considering how gifts may be perceived, especially when they involve personal items. The most thoughtful gifts take into account the recipient’s comfort level, desires, and emotions. In this case, while OP meant well, it’s clear that understanding and communication about boundaries and preferences are just as crucial in gift-giving as the gesture itself.
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Source: Reddit
1. Is it wrong for a boyfriend to gift his girlfriend ling*rie?
2. OP has been in a relationship with his girlfriend, also 19, for approximately two years.
3. They share a strong bond, and the OP expresses deep affection for his girlfriend. Occasionally, she grapples with self-esteem issues, and he frequently offers compliments to uplift her spirits.
4. Identifying his love language as gift-giving, he often surprises her with flowers or small items he knows she’d appreciate.
5. Believing it could boost her confidence, he aimed to introduce variety to her wardrobe by choosing ling*rie, hoping it would make her feel attractive.
6. Upon returning from college, he presented his girlfriend with ling*rie, only to be met with a reaction far from his anticipation when she opened the gift.
7. She appeared taken aback, bordering on repulsion, questioning his choice of gift. He clarified his intention, aiming for her to feel confident and se*y, believing it would be appreciated.
8. She bluntly accused him of buying the ling*rie to fulfil his fantasies, dismissing it as a gift for himself rather than for her.
9. That evening, she remained distant, expressing discomfort with the gift. She emphasized that ling*rie was something she preferred to select herself.
10. OP believed it was a typical gift for a partner, albeit with the added benefit of enjoying it together.
Comments on this Story:
11. A Redditor wonders what exactly qualifies as “standard compliments.”
12. It’s perplexing how OP could be seen as the AH. He purchased a gift for his girlfriend with good intentions.
13. There’s a need for a serious conversation about the misconception that ling*rie is a universally appreciated gift for women.
14. Confidence in one’s appearance comes from within, not from wearing some piece of cloth as a gift.
15. YTA for assuming ling*rie was a suitable gift when she hadn’t expressed interest.
16. Never buy clothes for a woman; the wrong size or style, they’ll get upset.
17. The situation is akin to a gamer gifting a console to their partner who doesn’t game, just to play more.
18. Ling*rie can be a thoughtful gift, but assuming she’d appreciate it without asking was wrong. It’s essential to consider her preferences before making such purchases.
19. He would’ve said it was for her as he noticed her reaction, but that wouldn’t change the fact that the gift was primarily for his enjoyment.
20. It seems like OP’s girlfriend is difficult to please, which can be frustrating.
